Jokes Humor stories Pictures Videos Funny News Games

Home  |  Bookmark us  |  Submit / Upload  |   |  Random stuff  |  RSS feed  |  Funny sites(add)  |  About  |  Terms  |  Privacy  |  Contact us
Funny stuff
» Funny pictures
Funny pics gallery
Forum pics 130
Funny pics mix 6
Funny pictures 2714
Optical illusions 37
» Funny videos
Funny clips gallery
Banned videos 53
Extreme videos 203
Funny animals 101
Funny cartoons 85
Funny cats 74
Funny dogs 85
Funny videos 8996
Home made videos 33
Music videos 69
Parodies 28
Pranks 156
Sexy videos 89
Sport videos 175
Stupid videos 160
Wierd videos 6
» Funny news
Funny news 31635
News funnies 23
» Free Games
Games gallery
Action games 844
Cartoons 62
Casino games 39
Classic arcade 254
Fighting games 81
Free games 1799
Logic games 170
Photo puzzles 593
Racing games 201
RPG games 45
Shooting games 452
Sport games 333
Strategy games 196
» Funny jokes
Adult jokes 1626
Animal jokes 289
Bar jokes 620
Blonde jokes 1361
Bumper stickers 40
Computer jokes 430
Dirty jokes 239
Ethnic jokes 319
Funny Facts 1490
Gay jokes 117
Gender jokes 69
Holiday jokes 168
Humor jokes 819
Insults 4294
Insults jokes 114
Jokers 160
Lawyer jokes 530
Medical jokes 297
One liners 704
Police jokes 6
Politics jokes 304
Redneck jokes 473
Religious jokes 625
Work jokes 75
Yo mama jokes 127
» Humor stories
Funny poems 15
Funny stories 343
Humor Stories
» Sounds
Funny audio 338
Sound boards 80
Funny sitesFunny sites
Uber Humor

  Humor stories > Funny stories : Heaven gets re-zoned

Heaven gets re-zoned

Funny stories Rating : 5.14, 29 votes. Reviews : 23 [add review]
After 2,013 years, heaven has experienced it's first change in zoning ordinances.

According to the latest Catholic scholars and Pope Benedict, Limbo is, now and forever, reserved only for native Jamaican Island dancers. (read the article) Effectively giving eternal time-space a Lim-botomy, the Pope, acting
in his capacity as the the Holy Seed, signed the beloved and feared region of heaven into oblivion. Apparently,all non-baptised infants and people born before Jesus, now have permanent "green cards" and are given a place in the divine estate.

Expansion and new construction is scheduled to commence in the fall to make room for all these theological refugees. The dominant plan is to use the Chicago "scattered-site housing" model for section 8 residences and place them in the suburbs.

There are some budgetary concerns as well, since heaven's budget is balanced on the head of a pin. Some of the more liberal members of the heavenly hosts have begun a campaign to coax Jesus out of retirement to do his "loaves and fishes" act again, this time by converting a single 12 story condo into a sub-division. "This could save millions", one director was quoted.

Additionally, these souls have no previous history of good deeds or miracles and existing residents in heaven were quoted as saying they didn't know if they wanted to live next door to these, "marginals".

It is yet unclear as to whether or not these new members will have full voting or saint's rights, and the ACLU indicates that it's human rights team will be following the process closely to ensure that these new souls are truly
treated as equals.

Controversy is certain, since this new policy seems to effectively "kidnap" the souls of the unborn children of Jews, Muslims, Hindu's, Druids, Unitarians and the like into the Catholic section of eternity, since none of these
other groups have made specific accommodations for the placement of their souls. Several law suits are being proposed including an injunction to force a pre-qualification and evaluation of souls, based on their family origins. "The ramifications of diverted ethereal property and inheritance are monumental," one attorney for a family of witches said. "We cannot stand idly by and allow one faction of the universe to conduct an uncontested dragnet of souls, and subsequent land-grab of eternal space... there must be equity and balance, voices must be heard!"

In an anticipated press release, Plato, Aristotle and Socrates issued a joint statement that they rather liked the accommodations set up in Limbo and that it afforded them a position of neutrality and objectivity unavailable in any of the other, more politically polarized domains. They said they will stage an old fashioned peaceful "sit-in" with many of their students in order to lobby for at least a portion of Limbo to remain as-is.

God, who was at his summer home, was not immediately available for comment.

Greg Groeper reporting...

Rate this story (settings)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Rating : 5.14, 29 votes. Reviews : 23 [add review]

Previous story [ Funny stories index ] Next story
Previous story [ humor stories index ] Next story

More : Popular humor stories | Most reviewed humor stories | Top Rated humor stories
Reviews of that story : Reviews : 23, Rating : 5.14, 29 votes.

Post your review!

Name  :
Email   :
Rate    :
Text    : URLs cannot be posted here
Cool sites

Random pictures

Random pics
Funny pictures : sexywedding.jpg

Friend Finder

Random Funny stuff

One day a gay man goes into a bar... Read this joke...

Random pics
Funny pictures : De-Motivational Poster: BUSTED archive
Use parental controls to protect your kids : Wikipedia | Battle.