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  Humor stories > Funny stories : Men go extinct

Men go extinct

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You did this to me!

Me! The king of the jungle.

The ultimate muscle bound stud. Adonis! God’s gift to women.

I’m going extinct!

I hope you women out there with your equal rights are happy. You better enjoy me while you can.

The Y-chromosome, the fingerprint of maleness, is weakening, being stripped of the genes defending it.

When it goes, men will no longer exist.

In the beginning, the Y chrome was healthy, like the female‘s thing. But just like men are serial killers and tyrants who cause wars, and not women, the men’s Y thing is dysfunctional.

In fact, according to scientists, men today are technically just mutant women, that’s all, genetically modified women. Are you a guy who thinks you’re tough? You’re just a girlie man.

So if somebody is rude to you, say to them indignantly, and in an effeminate voice, “don’t you dare talk to me like that, I’m a genetically modified woman.”

Does that mean George Bush would look good in a red satin prom dress?

In the end, the world will be composed of Amazon lesbians

and a few going-extinct men held over perhaps as sex slave toys.

If that’s the case, I hope I’m one of the few.

When did this trouble start? Approximately 100 million years ago, a mutation of the Y-chromosome’s ancestor in early mammals split off to enable development of a separate male gender. The problem with mutating is, the Y thing can’t stop doing it.

Currently, the Y has lost thousands of its purpose-giving, protecting genes, like a middle aged guy loses his hair.

The Y only has 27 genes left.

When it stands alone, it becomes irrelevant. Then it goes. Poof!. No more men.

When will this extinction occur? Approximately 125,000 years.

Blame rats, mice. They did this to us.

Ironically, one tiny rodent that currently lives in the Caucasus Mountains called the “mole vole”

managed to avoid Y extinction by throwing out the Y and installing its own “offshoot” relay-type half-and-half gene.

This might give us hope. But to date, no other species has been able to do this.

Congratulations to the mole vole. You women. If you want something masculine and hairy in 125,000 years, you’re going to have to date a bisexual, bipolar, hermaphrodite mole in some Russian mountains.

Science already enables lesbian couples to experience parenthood by sperm implant. The possibility of someday injecting the nucleus from a female egg into another women’s egg, allowing two women to parent a child---without any involvement by a man---Y, sperm, anything---is almost a certainty.

One hitch. The child of such a couple will always be a girl. The girl will not be a clone, but will have two regular biological parents. Two mothers, instead of a mother and father.


In the meantime, us tough guys are weakening down. Today, approximately seven percent of us men are infertile or not-very-fertile because of continuing Y mutations that were not present in our fathers.

How does that make me feel? I suddenly have a strange empathy for the passenger pigeon and the dodo bird. I also feel a peculiar urge to put on a dainty lace apron and bake cookies.

© Copyright 2004 by

John Sammon is the author of two books and writes a weekly humor column you may access at


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