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  Humor stories > Funny stories : What are you in for?

What are you in for?

Funny stories Rating : 3.00, 1 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]
First off, I would like to say that our society should do a lot more than it does about making people aware of the consequences of their actions. Can you imagine being taken to prison in cuffs and leg irons, to spend the next 15 years of your life figuring out how you are going to pay off the $250,000 fine you will owe in restitution for your crime when you finally get out of jail? To make matters even worse, you discover on your first day in the big house that the guy you are sharing your cell with is a felon who has spent the last five years before you arrived working out to make his biceps look like tree trunks.

This big bruiser sits down on the bunk next to you, pats you on the head and says, “Hey sonny, what are you in for?”

The question causes your forehead to instantly explode with sweat, and before you can think, you mumble an answer to his question in a very subdued voice.

“Huh, I can’t hear you, precious,” replies the burly guy, giving the back of your hair a yank, and flicking your Adam’s apple.

You grab your throat, gasp for air, and repeat your answer louder this time, “I said I am in for copyright infringement!”

“Copyright infringement? What da hell is that?” asks the felon, giving your head another tug.

“I got caught by the FBI copying some tapes and DVD’s that I was not supposed to for entertainment purposes.”

Well, I do not think it is necessary for me to play out the rest of this scene for you. Every commercially produced movie in VHS and DVD format displays a glimpse of a pleasantly blue or red colored screen in fine print, outlining the potentially severe penalties for unauthorized reproduction of the media. To my knowledge, this little howdy screen is there for a minute, and almost universally ignored by viewers, who are busy noshing snacks or filling their drinks before the movie starts. People are waiting to be entertained, not to analyze the penal code for cryin’ out loud.

If the manufacturers really want people to consider the consequences of unauthorized reproduction, they should jazz up the warning screen to get people to pay more attention to the message. My suggestions for doing this would be to have sirens go off, play the theme song to “Cops,” or have a graphic of bars slamming shut, then reopening to reveal the text in pulsating large print of the warning. Maybe a voice pleading for mercy, or a scene of someone being dragged from a courtroom screaming, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know!“ would hit home with the viewers. Considering the potential consequences, there should be a lot more work done to protect the rights of artists and the people who patronize their work.

You might think this is an alarmist viewpoint from a paranoid personality, but do not say I did not warn you when the FBI comes a knockin’ to take a look at that movie library you have so lovingly put together for yourself. If the FBI does come, you might as well go ahead take out a couple of them before they drag you off to jail. At least you will have a better story to tell your new bunkmate. Maybe Brad Pitt will come and visit you to find out how you liked his performance in "Troy."

Director of Software Concepts
BHO Technologists - LittleTek Center


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