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Blowjob etiquette
Adult jokes
Rating : 6.02, 64 votes.
Reviews : 1 [add review]
Blowjob Etiquette
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don`t care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to come on someone`s face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON`T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?
7. I don`t care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it`s "hummer week" - get it through your head - I`m bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don`t feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can`t have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls -if you`re that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don`t tell me I`ve just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games, smoke a cigarette, watch TV...etc. Immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it`s probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we`re good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn`t particularly taste good. And I don`t care about the protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV, smoke a cigarette, drink, etc.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don`t get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it`s awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning."
Rating : 6.02, 64 votes.
Reviews : 1 [add review]
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