Jokes Humor stories Pictures Videos Funny News Games

Home  |  Bookmark us  |  Submit / Upload  |   |  Random stuff  |  RSS feed  |  Funny sites(add)  |  About  |  Terms  |  Privacy  |  Contact us
Funny stuff
» Funny pictures
Funny pics gallery
Forum pics 130
Funny pics mix 6
Funny pictures 2714
Optical illusions 37
» Funny videos
Funny clips gallery
Banned videos 53
Extreme videos 203
Funny animals 101
Funny cartoons 85
Funny cats 74
Funny dogs 85
Funny videos 8996
Home made videos 33
Music videos 69
Parodies 28
Pranks 156
Sexy videos 89
Sport videos 175
Stupid videos 160
Wierd videos 6
» Funny news
Funny news 31635
News funnies 23
» Free Games
Games gallery
Action games 844
Cartoons 62
Casino games 39
Classic arcade 254
Fighting games 81
Free games 1799
Logic games 170
Photo puzzles 593
Racing games 201
RPG games 45
Shooting games 452
Sport games 333
Strategy games 196
» Funny jokes
Adult jokes 1626
Animal jokes 289
Bar jokes 620
Blonde jokes 1361
Bumper stickers 40
Computer jokes 430
Dirty jokes 239
Ethnic jokes 319
Funny Facts 1490
Gay jokes 117
Gender jokes 69
Holiday jokes 168
Humor jokes 819
Insults 4294
Insults jokes 114
Jokers 160
Lawyer jokes 530
Medical jokes 297
One liners 704
Police jokes 6
Politics jokes 304
Redneck jokes 473
Religious jokes 625
Work jokes 75
Yo mama jokes 127
» Humor stories
Funny poems 15
Funny stories 343
Humor Stories
» Sounds
Funny audio 338
Sound boards 80
Funny sitesFunny sites
Uber Humor

  Jokes > Bar jokes : 14 pints of guinness

14 pints of guinness

Bar jokes Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

A bloke goes into a pub.
The barmaid asks what he wants.
`I want to put my head between your tits, and lick the sweat off,` he replies.
`You dirty bastard!` shouts the barmaid, `Get out before I get my husband.`
The bloke apologizes and says he will never do it again.
The barmaid, disgusted, accepts His apology and asks what he wants again.
`I want to pull down your knickers, spread cottage cheese between your arse cheeks and lick it off,` he replies.
`What??` screams the barmaid, `That`s it! You`re barred, you dirty, filthy, perverted bastard, get out now.`
Once again the bloke apologizes, and says he will never, ever do it again.
`Right. I`ll give you one last chance,` says the barmaid. `Now, what do you want?`
`I want to turn you upside down, fill your pussy with Guinness and drink it all out of you.`
The barmaid starts crying and runs upstairs to her husband, who is sitting down watching the telly.
`What`s up, love?` says the husband.
`There`s this disgusting bloke downstairs. When I asked him what he wanted, he said that he wanted to put His head between my tits and lick the sweat off,` she says in a flood of tears.
`What? He`s a dead man,` shouts the husband getting out of His chair.
`Then he said he wanted to pull down my knickers, spread cottage cheese between my arse cheeks and lick it off,` screams the wife.
`Right, he`s going to need a body bag, the bastard,` shouts the husband rolling up His sleeves and picking up a baseball bat.
`Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my pussy with Guinness and drink it out of me,` she concludes.
When he hears this, the husband puts the baseball bat down and sits back down in His chair.
`Aren`t you going to do something?` shouts the wife in hysterics.
`Listen love, I`m not messing with someone who can drink 14 pints of Guinness...`

Rate this joke (settings)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

Previous joke [ Bar jokes index ] Next joke
Previous joke [ jokes index ] Next joke

More : Popular jokes | Most reviewed jokes | Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke : Reviews : 0, Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.

Post your review!

Name  :
Email   :
Rate    :
Text    : URLs cannot be posted here
Cool sites

Random jokes
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement... Read this joke...
20252 is Smokey the Bear`s own zip code... Read this joke...

Random joke
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractiveblonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight tothe mail box... Read this joke...
Yo momma like a 7-11... Read this joke...

Friend Finder

Random Funny stuff

You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist... Read this joke...

Random pics
Funny pictures : Redneck wind chime archive
Use parental controls to protect your kids : Wikipedia | Battle.