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  Jokes > Dirty jokes : Marriage quotes by men

Marriage quotes by men

Dirty jokes Rating : 5.00, 14 votes. Reviews : 15 [add review]

I married Miss Right. I just didn`t know Her first name was Always.
It`s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
A man was complaining to a friend: `I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!` `What happened?` asked the friend. `My wife found out..`
Wife: Let`s go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, `Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!` Martha replies, `Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?` The man responds, `I don`t care. Just so long as you`re out of the house by noon!`
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful!
I haven`t spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don`t like to interrupt her.
If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

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