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  Jokes > Jokers : Texan's guide

Texan's guide

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Never squat with yer spurs on.
There`s two theories to arguin` with a woman; neither one works.
Don`t worry about bitin` off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger`n you think.
If you get to thinkin` you`re a person of some influence, try orderin` somebody else`s dog around.
Never smack a man who`s chewin` tobacco.
It don`t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
If you`re ridin` ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it`s still there.
Lettin` the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier `n puttin` it back in.
Finally, never miss a good chance to shut up.

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