aFunnyStuff.com archive
Jokes Humor stories Pictures Videos Funny News Games

Home  |  Bookmark us  |  Submit / Upload  |   |  Random stuff  |  RSS feed  |  Funny sites(add)  |  About  |  Terms  |  Privacy  |  Contact us
Funny stuff
» Funny pictures
Funny pics gallery
Forum pics 130
Funny pics mix 6
Funny pictures 2714
Optical illusions 37
» Funny videos
Funny clips gallery
Banned videos 53
Extreme videos 203
Funny animals 101
Funny cartoons 85
Funny cats 74
Funny dogs 85
Funny videos 8996
Home made videos 33
Music videos 69
Parodies 28
Pranks 156
Sexy videos 89
Sport videos 175
Stupid videos 160
Wierd videos 6
» Funny news
Funny news 31635
News funnies 23
» Free Games
Games gallery
Action games 844
Cartoons 62
Casino games 39
Classic arcade 254
Fighting games 81
Free games 1799
Logic games 170
Photo puzzles 593
Racing games 201
RPG games 45
Shooting games 452
Sport games 333
Strategy games 196
» Funny jokes
Adult jokes 1626
Animal jokes 289
Bar jokes 620
Blonde jokes 1361
Bumper stickers 40
Computer jokes 430
Dirty jokes 239
Ethnic jokes 319
Funny Facts 1490
Gay jokes 117
Gender jokes 69
Holiday jokes 168
Humor jokes 819
Insults 4294
Insults jokes 114
Jokers 160
Lawyer jokes 530
Medical jokes 297
One liners 704
Police jokes 6
Politics jokes 304
Redneck jokes 473
Religious jokes 625
Work jokes 75
Yo mama jokes 127
» Humor stories
Funny poems 15
Funny stories 343
» Sounds
Funny audio 338
Sound boards 80
Funny sitesFunny sites
Uber Humor


  Humor stories > Funny stories : Funny quotes

Funny quotes


Funny stories Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]
 
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future. (Richard Jeni)


I worked some gigs in the Deep South…Alabama…You talk about Darwin’s waiting room. There are guys in Alabama who are their own father. (Dennis Miller)


I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out. (Rodney Dangerfield)


L.A. Is so celebrity-conscious, there`s a restaurant that only serves Jack Nicholson -- and when he shows up, they tell him there`ll be a ten-minute wait. (Bill Maher) Funny Quotes. Sayings. Quotations.


I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. (Jon Stewart)


There’s always one of my uncles who watches a boxing match with me and says "Sure. Ten million dollars. You know, for that kind of money, I’d fight him." As if someone is going to pay $200 a ticket to see a 57-year-old carpet salesman get hit in the face once and cry. (Larry Miller)


If I ever have twins, I`d use one for parts. (Steven Wright)


My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other -- so now it`s just a waiting game. (Bill Dwyer)
Famous Quotes


My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)


I know a guy who called up the Home Shopping Network. They said "Can I help you?" and he said "No, I`m just looking." (George Miller)


I knew these Siamese twins. They moved to England, so the other one could drive. (Steven Wright)


A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business. "Suppose a woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars worth of material. You wrap it up, and you give it to her. She pays you with a $100 bill. But as she goes out the door you realize she’s given you two $100 bills. Now, here’s where the ethics come in: should you or should you not tell your partner?" (Henny Youngman)


Creator of Short Funny Quotes, Sayings, Famous, Inspirational, Motivational, Love, Movie, Quotations

 


Rate this story (settings)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

Previous story [ Funny stories index ] Next story
Previous story [ humor stories index ] Next story

More : Popular humor stories | Most reviewed humor stories | Top Rated humor stories
Reviews of that story : Reviews : 0, Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.


Post your review!

Name  :
Email   :
Rate    :
Text    : URLs cannot be posted here
           
Cool sites



Random pictures

Random pics
Funny pictures : No Dogs Allowed



Friend Finder



Random Funny stuff

Every day of their vacation, these two guys rented a boat and fished... Read this joke...

Random pics
Funny pictures : Bean Cash

aFunnyStuff.com archive
Use parental controls to protect your kids : Wikipedia | Battle.