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  Humor stories > Funny stories : The Hair

The Hair

Funny stories Rating : 8.94, 44 votes. Reviews : 4 [add review]
Vanessa Nightingale January 28 at 2:29pm
Ok, so I am in the grocery store and the line is ridiculously long. Only one checker. True to my nature I start talking to everyone in line like we have all been friends forever. Standing right next to me is a little old lady which i strike up a conversation with. Again, as if we had been friends forever. Now, I have long blond hair that tends to shed like a Shetland sheep dog. As we are talking I noticed that one of my hairs had found a resting spot on the side of this poor old lady's face. Now mind you, what was once probably a very beautiful woman, now had a face that was in layers that much resembled a Sharpe dog. So, anyway I feel that it is my duty to inform her of this inconvenience. Now, i tend to be quite loud and animated at times and I noted that several people were looking our way. "You have a hair" I said and pointed to the side of her face, assuming that she would simply wipe it away. Well, you all know the saying when you assume you make an ass out of you and me. Let's just say I for now on will live by that rule religiously. So what would seem to you or me a simple task, had now become apparent to be quite the opposite for my new found friend. I watched painfully as she attempted to lift her poor little hand up with tremendous difficulty. For as her hand began to raise it also began to quiver and then erupt into what only could be described as an 8.0 on the rictor scale. Oh, my goodness, she has Parkinson's disease. How could I have missed that in our whole 2 min conversation? Being such good friends and all, I now felt obligated to relieve her of her misery and said "here, let me get that for you". "Oh, thank you dear" she replied, with much relief. So I reach out and grabbed hold of my misbehaved hair. As I began to pull away the hair I noted much to my horror, that her neatly folded face began to unravel much like an accordion to then pucker out like a tepee with what I thought was my hair firmly attached to the end of the point. All of this with the utmost attention of a large audience of on lookers. Well, guess what folks, I was mistaken. It wasn't one of my unruly hairs after all it was one of her own. Must have been there for years because I swear it was a good 5 inches lie! I really do need to get those glasses, I mean REALLY. On the bright side, due to her condition and age she must have lost all sensation to her face because she appeared quite relaxed and unfazed by the fact that I have pulled her the skin on her face out a good foot. Trying not to embarrass her I simply said "there, I got it" and let go of her property and we all watched as her skin slowly retracted back to its original position with HER hair again now resting quietly on the side of her face."Oh thank you dear", she replied with a smile. "your welcome" I said. Unable to hold back my desire to laugh I quickly turned around and placed my hand firmly over my mouth. Thank god she must have also been hard of hearing too, because she also seemed to be unfazed by the uproar of full blown laughter surrounding us. Needless to say, the wait for my turn in the checkout was pretty much unbearable. Because, by now all I wanted to do is get the hell out of there. OMG,......HOW EMBARRISSING!

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Rating : 8.94, 44 votes. Reviews : 4 [add review]

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