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  Humor stories > Funny stories : The time I shit myself.... in my sleep... in my new boyfriends bed!!!!

The time I shit myself.... in my sleep... in my new boyfriends bed!!!!


Funny stories Rating : 5.71, 14 votes. Reviews : 5 [add review]
I cannot even find the words to explain the humiliation I am feeling from this experience the other morning..

So Ive been dating this amazing guy for about 3 1/2 months. After finaly getting out of a 2 year long abusive relationship, I finaly had found someone who makes me so happy. Each date just got better and better. Fourth of July comes around, best time Ive ever had with someone and in the perfect moment he explains to me hes falling in love with me (right before the fireworks show started. it couldnt have been any more perfect). Ive been waiting to hear him say something, ANYTHING, to let me know what was going on with us for a while now...and I finaly could relax and know he fealt the same way i did.

Welll.... SO MUCH FOR THAT! After waking up the next morning in his bed to find that I had shat myself all over his $500 sheets, and DRIPPED on the carpet in a little trail leading to his bathroom... and then it look as if it had EXPLODED all over the toilet, the toilet seat, the shower door..... even had toilet paper that i had obviously used to wipe my ass and then thrown in his waste basket. (not the toilet of course, but the little trash can next to the toilet!)

Let me start of by explaining that NEVER in my 25 years have I had ANYTHING like this happen. My mom assured me I never even wet my bed once as a child. and CERTAINLY didnt shit my bed before. How could this happen to me now? On the same night that everything could not have been more perfect? In the man of my dreams BED???

Was this Gods fucked up way of telling me it wasnt meant to be or something!?

The part that made this whole situation so much more akward was that it took us 45 min to figure out that it was Diarrhea! First, He notices that theres what he thinks is "dried blood" on the front of one of his legs... (THE LEG THAT HE HAD BEEN SPOONING IN BETWEEN MINE AS WE SLEPT!)
So he asks me if im bleeding anywhere and i look... nope. Not bleeding. Wierd, he says. Well 30 min later we start to make love and we stop when we noticed were rolling around in a huge smeared around dark stain allll over his sheets.... on my side of the bed. Did I start my period? I explain to him Im not bleeding and theres no way I could be on my period again after only 1 week since my last one ended!

So he looks at his adorable little dog... were examing the dog to see if shes bleeding... then I come to the realization that maybe the stain isnt blood. Its Dark brown... what if it is POOP! Yep... I was deffinetly right about that one. It sure was poop. Diarrhea to be exact! it was dried up so we really didnt realize it at first. Thats when all signs point to me as the one who did the deed. As I stand there explaining that theres no way I could have done that... We discover the bathroom.

THE BATHROOM WAS EVEN MORE HUMILIATING THEN THE BED. I STILL DONT SEE HOW I COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DONE ANY OF THIS... ESPECIALLY THE BATHROOM. IT LOOKED LIKE FREAKIN SHREK CAME IN AND LET ONE LOOSE IN THERE! IT WAS EVERYWHERE!!!! dripped on floor... exploded all over toilet seat and sides and even splattered all over the sides of his shower.

Im a tiny girl. I mean everyone shits. Evereyone gets diarrhea.... but never in my life have i done anything so disgusting.

Ready for the end of the story? I left right away because he was so freaked out about it all... and this man who was falling in love with me obviously had a pretty easy time falling right back out of love :(

I still am waiting to just wake up from this NIGHTMARE..... !!!!!!


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Rating : 5.71, 14 votes. Reviews : 5 [add review]

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