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  Humor stories > Funny stories : Vacation Hell!!!

Vacation Hell!!!

Funny stories Rating : 4.33, 6 votes. Reviews : 3 [add review]
Saturday January 8, 2005. The day began perfectly normal. Trevor said he wanted toast for breakfast, so I made him toast. Then he wanted eggs for breakfast, so I made him eggs. One egg actually. When he said his tummy hurt and he didn't feel like eating naturally I said too bad, you told me to make it, it's only one egg, now eat it. He had a few bites, complained, I gave in. Grandma was going to meet the kids at Glenn's store and take them to lunch so I figured I'd pick my battles and we began to get ready to meet Grandma.

Grandma called, she's on her way to the store so we should leave now too. "Trev, could you hand me my shoes please, they're by the garage door". Like the sweet boy he is he starts walking over to me with my shoes and shoes in hand he touches his belly and says "Mommy, my tummy doesn't feel good". And there it is. I tried to get him to the bathroom and a lot of vomit did make it into the toilet, but a lot also made it all over his clothes and socks and there was no question which way the bathroom was...... As I'm cleaning up I figure I better call Grandma. "Change in plans" I say. She's already driving, I tell her what happened and we decide she'll come to the house. Trevor said he felt better and the three of them ventured out for a little bit, but Trevor really wasn't feeling well so Grandma brought him back home and went out with Sara. Buckets of vomit begins coming out the other end simultaneously. So there's my poor, sweet, good little boy sitting on the toilet making me hold a bowl on his lap. Sunday didn't prove to be any better. Now, we're supposed to be up and out by 5a.m Monday and on our way to the Bahamas! Thank goodness for travel insurance. After changing a few plans around we think maybe it'll be ok to leave Wednesday, and if not, there's always insurance. Monday I took him to the doctor. Tuesday he seemed better every hour and Wednesday morning we were off.

So here we are about an hour into the flight. Sara's first time on an airplane. We had three seats and one across. I got the 'across' and the seats next to me were empty. The kids, mostly Sara, traveled between seats. About an hour in, just after I had passed Sara back to Glenn, the flood gates open. Eight times on the plane! Eight times on Glenn. Now I'm the type who vomits at vomit and although it's all over Glenn, the seat, and the floor and we're stuck on the plane for about another two hours and it reeks, I can't help but laugh. Even now I laugh while writing this. Evil? I bet you're laughing too.

I changed her into her shorts as soon as we got off the plane and it was about half an hour drive to the hotel. She was fine in the van. Even though Trev just got over the same thing we were trying to be optimistic and pretending maybe it was just motion sickness. We decided to try to play on the beach a little. There's about four minutes of video and a few pictures. I tried to get the most out of it because we I didn't know if we'd be back on the beach as a family. We didn't stay out there long. Literally as soon as we stepped foot back inside she just kept vomiting. The first day was spent catching the vomit in the hotel towels. About twelve of them. The plan was to be in the Bahamas Wednesday through Sunday. As sick as she was, we figured we would be better off staying and trying to show Trevor a good time than leaving and dealing with sick Sara on the plane. The first night she vomited every half hour until 4:22 a.m. Yes, I remember the time. That was the last one for a few hours. You'd remember when you got to bed too if you were catching vomit hours on end. Since she wasn't eating it was water-like vomit. I share because it splashed into my eye and the next two days I had bloodshot crusted shut eye and couldn't wear my contact lenses. But it's not about me. Trevor woke up at 6:30 Thursday morning. Breakfast didn't start until 7. Glenn (who slept through the vomit this time) got up and wandered with Trev until breakfast. They came back to the room about 11:30 and it was my turn to venture out for the first time. I took Trev to lunch and Glenn stayed with sicky Sara. A lot of the rest is sort of a blur, go figure, but Friday showed a glimmer of hope. We were hoping to be able to show the kids the Atlantis aquariums and Saturday was our last chance. Did I mention the four of us were in a small room with two double beds, a window that didn't open and no vent in the bathroom? Vomit and 'other' with no fresh air. Just a fun little tid bit.

Saturday morning we figure what the heck. Could it get worse? Never ask that or assume it couldn't. The four of us walked twenty five minutes to the Atlantis. Sara on Glenn's neck. There's a huge aquarium in the lobby, but Glenn wanted the kids to see more so we paid the 100$ guest fee and showed them around a little. Shortly we thought Sara needs a break so we stop for a Gatorade and a Snapple (for $7.75). We're lounging, drinking, and Sara napped on my lap for a while. She woke up very cranky and Trevor was getting a little difficult also so I suggested lunch before we continue exploring. To the nearest restaurant. Nothing on the menu for the kids and nothing I'm particularly interested in either. I was hoping for something yummy since the hotel buffet was, well, I'll just say not to my liking. So we go to the next closest restaurant but they're closed. This place is huge and the easiest thing is to just go back to first one we tried. Turns out they have grilled cheese for the kids (not on the menu). Great, two grilled cheese, one personal pizza, and one chicken sandwich, two fruit punch and two iced tea. I didn't move the potato chips that came with the grilled cheese fast enough and in digs Sara. I'm thinking that's not so good for an upset stomach. She probably ingested a small handful. I had her delicious chocolate, chocolate chip cookie. It melted in your hands. It was so good. Ops, me again. Sara decided she didn't want to eat or drink at all. The rest of us are just about finished and Sara goes to sit on Glenn's lap. Two minutes after she sits on Glenn (again I'm laughing thinking about writing it) there's some sort of ? "Michelle she threw up". "I don't see throw up." Her mouth was clean, her top was clean, her pants were not so clean. Glenn's pants were not so clean. Pants, filled shoes, wet chair, covered floor, packed restaurant. I couldn't stop laughing. Embarrassed as I was and as horrible I felt for Sara especially, and Glenn, I couldn't not laugh. "Thanks for the support" he says. Glenn described it as a hot water balloon exploding on his leg. It was the biggest, most disgusting mess ever. We didn't even think it was poo it was so loose (and so much). Glenn took her down to the bathroom to clean up and I stayed Trev and paid the bill ($70 by the way. I didn't see that coming). Do I really need to finish the story or could it even get any better. It couldn't. I'll just say Glenn and Sara smelled like a barn and had to walk back to the hotel (no taxi would take us, nor would I sit in one with them).

Sunday it poured and we didn't have to leave the hotel until 4 (although check out was 11). When we got to the airport we found out our flight was delayed 3 hours with only one gift shop and a not even on par with a high school cafeteria "restaurant". The ending is happy. No one got sick on the plane. The kids mostly slept and were very happy to be home and in their own beds again. I guess I'm glad we have made such a nice home that they'd rather be here than the Bahamas. Ok, maybe they were just sick of being sick and wanted something familiar. Maybe both.

The End.

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Rating : 4.33, 6 votes. Reviews : 3 [add review]

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