aFunnyStuff.com archive
Jokes Humor stories Pictures Videos Funny News Games

Home  |  Bookmark us  |  Submit / Upload  |   |  Random stuff  |  RSS feed  |  Funny sites(add)  |  About  |  Terms  |  Privacy  |  Contact us
Funny stuff
» Funny pictures
Funny pics gallery
Forum pics 130
Funny pics mix 6
Funny pictures 2714
Optical illusions 37
» Funny videos
Funny clips gallery
Banned videos 53
Extreme videos 203
Funny animals 101
Funny cartoons 85
Funny cats 74
Funny dogs 85
Funny videos 8996
Home made videos 33
Music videos 69
Parodies 28
Pranks 156
Sexy videos 89
Sport videos 175
Stupid videos 160
Wierd videos 6
» Funny news
Funny news 31635
News funnies 23
» Free Games
Games gallery
Action games 844
Cartoons 62
Casino games 39
Classic arcade 254
Fighting games 81
Free games 1799
Logic games 170
Photo puzzles 593
Racing games 201
RPG games 45
Shooting games 452
Sport games 333
Strategy games 196
» Funny jokes
Adult jokes 1626
Animal jokes 289
Bar jokes 620
Blonde jokes 1361
Bumper stickers 40
Computer jokes 430
Dirty jokes 239
Ethnic jokes 319
Funny Facts 1490
Gay jokes 117
Gender jokes 69
Holiday jokes 168
Humor jokes 819
Insults 4294
Insults jokes 114
Jokers 160
Lawyer jokes 530
Medical jokes 297
One liners 704
Police jokes 6
Politics jokes 304
Redneck jokes 473
Religious jokes 625
Work jokes 75
Yo mama jokes 127
» Humor stories
Funny poems 15
Funny stories 343
Humor Stories
» Sounds
Funny audio 338
Sound boards 80
Funny sitesFunny sites
Uber Humor


  Humor stories > Funny stories : Very precise fortune cookies

Very precise fortune cookies


Funny stories Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]
 
I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little slip of paper on the inside. Immediately I realized that it had been written by a weather forecaster.


"You will be approached in the late afternoon by a pink polka-dot octopus..."


It continued on the other side: "... and asked to provide details of your application for a yellow cloud mulching permit."


Two things struck me about this particular fortune. The first is that they have come a long way in their ability to predict exactly what will happen and when, just like weather forecasters. This is undoubtedly due to recent technological developments. Laser technology, for example. Nano technology. Robotics. Bioengineering. And so many other specialized fields have been developed to points of precision unimagined just a generation ago.


And it`s not just the weather forecasters.


In London, Ontario, specialists are performing microscopic cardiac surgery on patients miles away using a robot named CSTAR (Can`t you just wait for new parents to start naming their children after the famous surgeon, CSTAR?). This has opened up the door to many benefits, such as sending robots to remote locations without having to worry about a surgeon replacing the wrong organs due to jet lag.


But the real benefit was revealed when one surgeon confided in me: "You know the world is a better place when we don`t have to scrub our hands before surgery anymore."


I can call anybody in North America on the telephone and they will answer in real time. Not only is this a better response than I can give people face-to-face, but the telephone cables direct my call to the exact person I want, saving the other 400 million telephone subscribers the inconvenience of having to say, "Wrong number...again!" Just a few decades ago, Switchboard Suzie was manually connecting everybody.


"Janice Land? No problem. I`ll connect you." CLICK.


"No, wait. I wanted to speak to Janet Lam. Hello?"


My father can pinpoint the exact amount of blood sugar he packs in his veins. Not very long ago, people could not care less how much sugar was in their blood, as long as they had plenty of it in their double-fudge sundaes.


Yes technology has come a long way, allowing us to send and received very specific information in great detail and in great volumes, allowing such thrilling 21st century innovations as spam (I know, I know, the great spam innovators you admire most did their heroic deeds in the 20th century, but you ain`t seen nothing yet!)


Despite the volume of information I receive in my inbox, there is one very disturbing element to all this extra free information, which brings me back to the second thing that struck me about my fortune cookie message.


It was wrong.


I waited all day for that pink polka-dot octopus to approach me, and it never did. Just because modern technology can deliver huge volumes of laser-detailed information, does not make that information valuable or even accurate.


Which brings me back to the revelation that a weather forecaster is now writing fortune cookies. Weather forecasts have become increasingly more precise. For instance, I am told that today it will hail in the town just east of here and be sunny in the town just west of here.


Once upon a time, the forecast would be simply "Sun and hail expected to pass through the region." Less accurate and less wrong. Just as useless, though.


Maybe we should hire CSTAR to make the fortune cookies. Surely CSTAR would deliver fortunes that are not only precise but also accurate, right? As a bonus, the pastry chefs won`t have to scrub their hands before baking.


And I wouldn`t have to wait for a pink polka-dot octopus all afternoon.


About The Author


David Leonhardt is author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven


http://search.barnesandnoble.com/bookSearch/isbnInquiry.asp?ISBN=059517826X


Read more personal growth articles: http://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html


Visit his liquid vitamins store: http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net


Or his happiness website: http://www.thehappyguy.com


Info@thehappyguy.com

 


Rate this story (settings)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

Previous story [ Funny stories index ] Next story
Previous story [ humor stories index ] Next story

More : Popular humor stories | Most reviewed humor stories | Top Rated humor stories
Reviews of that story : Reviews : 0, Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.


Post your review!

Name  :
Email   :
Rate    :
Text    : URLs cannot be posted here
           
Cool sites



Random pictures

Random pics
Funny pictures : Many Positions Available



Friend Finder



Random Funny stuff

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving... Read this joke...

Random pics
Funny pictures : The ham

aFunnyStuff.com archive
Use parental controls to protect your kids : Wikipedia | Battle.