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  Humor stories > Funny stories : Job Application For Accounts Job

Job Application For Accounts Job

Funny stories Rating : 4.05, 21 votes. Reviews : 14 [add review]

Job Application Form
Post Title: Community Accounant

Surname / Family Name: Curl

First name: Derek

Address and postcode:

Flat 2b
Wulfric Road
S2 1PF Home phone number: no
Mobile: no
Work phone number: no
email: ?
How do you prefer to be contacted? Please can you mail post of address for contact.

Positive About Disabled People
VAS has been awarded the Two Ticks scheme by Job Centre Plus. VAS will guarantee an interview to anyone who is disabled or has an impairment whose application meets all the essential criteria that can be identified from the application form. Under the Disability Discrimination Act 1995, a disability is defined as a:

‘Physical or mental impairment that has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on a his or her ability to carry out normal day to day activities and must be expected to last for 12 months or more.’

Please indicate if you have a physical or mental impairment that is covered by the definition above by ticking the relevant box below.

Yes 

No 

Please give the names and addresses of two people to whom we may write for references.
One referee should be your current or most recent employer or most recent relevant employer.
These referees will only be contacted if you are shortlisted for the post. Please indicate whether or not we may contact them at this stage.
Current / most recent employer
Name: Mr Richmond
Address: Dixons

Tel: no
email: ?
Second referee
Name: Lisa
Address: Flat 1b
Wulfric Road
S2 1PF

Tel: no
email: ?
If you are shortlisted, may we contact this person prior to interview? If you are shortlisted, may we contact this person prior to interview?

Employer: Dixons

Address: Dixons, Sheffield Job title: Dixons Staff
Date Appointed: 20th Febrary 2009
Length of notice required: Please can notice bored for me be over 1 meter
Is this your current employer? YES

Brief description of duties: I work at a the Dixons for 30 days of night so far. My dutie was to help men and women with help to buy item for sale. These item include radio with cd tray, dvd with dvd tray, flat telyvishoin, external tray for attatche the laptop, dvd disc to put in tray and baking tray.
I was to serve men and women on till. This was important for ask man or women for money out wallet on shop floor is no. Must do a the task on a the till. I also get item from back for men and women when paid as pull item from shelf to give is no due of bells ringing and the Meadowhall men from theft running pull me on floor.
Final task was dust. I did dust items. I did dust office and did dust floor. Mr Richmond love my dust and place me as leader of duster box.

(Most recent first)
Job title


Waiter (work experianse no pay)

Packer Employer

Dominos Pizzarire

French Café Meadowhall

Davey Bright Food Dates

1 Febuary to 19 Febrarury

2Jan – 10 Jan

12 Dec to 13 Dec Main Duties

Bring pizza to men and women
Not eat part of this pizza when bring to men and women
Not get punch and lose coins

Stand in cubord and only climb out at finishe of work.

To place keesh in box.
Work various shit. Day shit night shit and split shit.

Please use this space to give details of any formal qualifications you have, giving the most recent first.
School/College etc


Exams Passed

Yes Grade


Course Title and Content

Trained at gym title Mels gym. Contanied a mostly big men inside it.

Organising Body

Organise the body to a arms firstly then to a abbbs then put chest last for final of work it out Date, Duration and Outcome

16 Febaruray, twentie seven minutes, felt sick

Do you have any criminal convictions (other than spent convictions), cautions, warnings, reprimands, binding over or other orders, pending prosecutions or other criminal investigations?

You may be asked to give details if short listed for the post no

Drawing upon your experience, knowledge, skills and abilities, please explain how you fulfil the requirements set out in the person specification. Experience may have been gained through paid or voluntary work or in the home.
Please refer to guidance notes enclosed in this application pack.

I would like to work as Community Accounant as I have the huge like of count for big time. I can count and proofing of this at the Dixons. I count englished pounds and put in till. I have love of count from short child when I got abbicus. Large love of count with it until aged more sister pulled beads off. So love count and super at count. I can use laptop and use the laptop at Dixons. Mr Richmond let I press laptop at dawn to power it to go. I have mum who work in laundarette also and she teach me to spread sheets. I teach to learn it very quick like you need, so I can be a man who is quicken at spreading your sheets. I work as volantear also when I got locked in Somerfield toilets. With time to massacre I dust mirror for free while wait for the freedom. I also have good write skill and talk skill. I learn English solo from much watch of films off the Hollywood and men and women might say this is silly type of learn englished but frankly my dear I don’t give a damn. So this make me talk to people good but I also have the calm with any men or women even if the piss was extracted from me as I can not get mad at men and women and I ignore the bad so I have a good quality of that. I also love the update of knowledge about law and policey. I learn this much about policey from observation of The Bill weeknights on ITV 1 and also posess Columbo in my dvd tray.

I hope I ear from you closely and the not too many tomorrows. I wood love to count with you and your men and women and hope I am success of this so we can all count together.

Do not exceed the space provided on this form
Further Information in Support of Your Application continued.

The information contained in this form is, to the best of my knowledge, accurate and complete.
Signed ……………………………………………..……..……….. Date …………….………………………
Please return the completed form in an envelope marked Confidential to:

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