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  Humor stories > Funny stories : Nuts, gears & beers

Nuts, gears & beers

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Definition #1:

- A pinion is the edible nut of a pine tree.

- O pinion is a nutty perspective held by a person (unless it is your own opinion, of course). The more opinions that get expressed, the nuttier the flavor of a conversation becomes.

- A belief is an opinion masquerading as assumed fact in order to disguise its nutty origin.

Definition #2:

- A pinion is a toothed wheel, often also called a gear.

- O pinion is a small, toothed wheel in the gearbox of someone’s mind. The wheels turn round, the teeth interacting with other gears. Occasionally, these o-pinions will pop out of the gearbox. The more opinions pop out (are expressed), the less functional the gearbox becomes and it soon spins out of control or jams up entirely.

- A belief is an o-pinion that has no teeth. It just spins around and around without being able to interface with the other gears in the mind.

Definition #3:

O’Pinion is an Irish nut. It is used to add color and flavor to Guinness. The more Guinness you drink, the more you are inclined to express opinions.

There are over 2 dozen different styles of beer in the world. However, all these styles fall within two types, Ales and Lagers. These two types are different because of the two different kinds of yeast used in the fermentation process.


Ales are "top fermenting" beers. They are made with a top fermenting yeast called Saccharomyces cerevisiae. This yeast clings together in large clumps near the surface during fermentation. Ale yeast works best at higher temperatures and, as a consequence, works more quickly to convert sugars into alcohol, but does not convert all the sugars and leaves a sweetness in the beer. Ales are more cloudy with flavors that tend to be louder than Lagers and that change, even improve, with warmer temperatures. As your Ale warms up in your glass it gets more bolder tasting. Darker ales are even more flavorful.


Lagers are "bottom fermenting" beers. They are made with a bottom fermenting yeast called Saccharomyces uvarum. This kind of yeast does not clump together and therefore sinks to the bottom during fermentation. This Lager yeast works best at low temperatures and slowly ferments more sugars into alcohol. So while Ale yeast actually converts sugar faster, Lager yeast converts more sugar over the longer fermentation. Therefore, Lagers tend to be clean, crisp and less sweet than Ales. Darker lagers are more malty tasting than light lagers, but both share a common crispness. Lagers are usually served very cold and the flavor typically will not improve with increasing temperature.

Drink your lagers cold. Your ales should be drunk only slightly cool. Of course, that`s only my opinion.

Yeasts, by the way, are single celled fungi. Yes, relatives of the Amanita (the magic mushroom) and ergot (the rye fungus that produces LSD).

Ingesting yeasts/fungi tends to affect one`s perspective of the world and thus, one`s opinions.

Some day, I will write a book on the subject and call it, "As a Man Drinketh".

Articles are the sole copyright of Leslie Fieger. Permission to reprint or republish does not wave any copyright.
Leslie Fieger is the author of The DELFIN Knowledge System Trilogy, The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest and many other eBooks on success. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra`s DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. You can subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at and be sure to visit his website


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