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Things not to say!
Adult jokes
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Things not to say in bed!
1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. Can you please try breathing through your nose?
6. A little rug burn never hurt anyone.
7. Darling, did you lock the back door?
8. But whipped cream makes me break out in a rash.
9. person 1: This is your first time...right? person 2: It is.... today
10. Can you pass me the remote control?
11. Do you accept Visa?
12. On second thoughts, let`s turn off the lights.
13. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend.
14. So much for mouth-to-mouth
15. Hope you`re as good looking when I`m sober...
16. Try not to smear my make-up, will you`?
17. But I just brushed my teeth...
18. Smile, you`re on candid camera!
19. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs?!
20. I want a baby!
21. So much for the fulfilment of sexual fantasies!
22. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
23. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
24. When is this supposed to feel good?
25. Did I remember to take my pill?
26. Are you sure I don`t know you from somewhere?
27. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow.
28. Did I tell you my aunt Martha died in this bed?
29. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance.
30. No, really.. I do this part better myself.
31. This would be more fun with a few more people.
32. You`re almost as good as my ex!
33. You look younger than you feel.
34. Perhaps you`re just out of practice.
35. Now I know why she dumped you...
36. Does your husband own a sawn off shot-gun?
37. Have you ever considered liposuction?
38. And to think, I didn`t even have to buy you dinner!
39. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
40. I`ll tell you I`m fantasizing about if you tell me who you`re fantasizing about..
41. Does this count as a date?
42. I think biting is romantic- don`t you?
42. When would you like to meet my parents?
43. Have you seen "fatal attraction"?
44. Sorry about the name tags, I`m not to good with names.
45. Don`t mind me... I always file my nails in bed.
46. Don`t worry, my dog`s really friendly for a doberman.
47. Sorry but I don`t do toes.
48. You could at least act like you`re enjoying it!
49. Keep the noise down, my mother is a light sleeper.
50. I`ve slept with more women than Casanova!
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by yisman and Curtis
Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
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