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  Jokes > Blonde jokes : One-liners: 251-300

One-liners: 251-300


Blonde jokes Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

251. Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers Her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

252. Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.

253. Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn`t want them shitting in the streets during parades.

254. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

255. Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?
A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum)

256. Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb!

257. Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.

258. Q: What`s the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
A: One`s a phony buck.

259. Q: What`s the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

260. Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: One that never misses a period.

261. Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: An Italian suppository.

262. Q: Why don`t a blondes guts fall out of Her twat when she stands?
A: Because the vaccum in Her head keeps them in place.

263. Q: What`s the difference between having sex with a blonde and eating Jell-o?
A: Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.

264. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A1: I don`t know, there are some things even a blonde won`t do.
A2: Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won`t stop until it gets blood.

265. Q: Why was the blonde wearing Her sunglasses?
A: She was having sunny periods.

266. Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!

267. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?
A: When she farts, Her knees bag.

268. Q: What`s the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
A: Marriage.

269. Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan?
A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.

270. Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.

271. Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don`t. They`re born that way.

272. Q: How do ya paralyze a blonde from the neck down?
A: Marry her.

273. Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.

274. Q: How did the blonde burn Her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.

275. Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook.

276. Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

277. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

278. Q: What`s the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.

279. Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.

280. Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
281. Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.

282. Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don`t know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!

283. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

284. Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: From dating blonde men.

285. Q: Why do blondes wear tampons?
A: Because crabs like Bungie Jumping too.

286. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?
A: Wishful Thinking.

287. Q: Why don`t blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn`t go to 700 degrees.

288. Q: Why don`t blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can`t get the bottle into the typewriter.

289. Q: Why don`t blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can`t remember the number.
A2: She can`t find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

290. Q: What do you call a blonde touching Her toes?
A: A brunette with bad breath.

291. Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.

292. Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.

293. Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: Air bubbles.

294. Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a street corner?
A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!

295. Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: A waste.

296. Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.

297. Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: Divorcee`

298. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?
A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.

299. Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

300. Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde`s ass?
A: A brain tumor.



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