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One-liners: 301-325
Blonde jokes
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301. Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.
302. Q: What do a blonde and President Gorbachev have in common?
A: They both got fucked by 10 men whilst on holiday.
Q2: What`s the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?
A: He knows who the ten men were.
303. Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
304. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?
A: Too many blondes were drowning.
305. Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?
A: They`re mad enough to kill and they can retain water.
306. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON`T WALK".
307. Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
308. Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn`t wake up the sleeping pills.
309. Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veternarian?
A: Because she loved children.
310. Q: If an blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who would die first?
A: The brunette -- because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.
311. Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.
312. Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde`s life?
A: Third Grade.
313. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn`t fart when you pull your meat out of it.
314. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.
315. Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
316. Q: Why won`t they hire a blonde pharmacist?
A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
317. Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.
318. Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they`re fucked.
319. Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?:
"Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!
320. Q: Why is the blonde`s brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.
321. Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a
person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"
322. Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or
twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
323. Q: What`s a blonde`s idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
324. Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver`s test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
325. Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.
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