Jokes Humor stories Pictures Videos Funny News Games

Home  |  Bookmark us  |  Submit / Upload  |   |  Random stuff  |  RSS feed  |  Funny sites(add)  |  About  |  Terms  |  Privacy  |  Contact us
Funny stuff
» Funny pictures
Funny pics gallery
Forum pics 130
Funny pics mix 6
Funny pictures 2714
Optical illusions 37
» Funny videos
Funny clips gallery
Banned videos 53
Extreme videos 203
Funny animals 101
Funny cartoons 85
Funny cats 74
Funny dogs 85
Funny videos 8996
Home made videos 33
Music videos 69
Parodies 28
Pranks 156
Sexy videos 89
Sport videos 175
Stupid videos 160
Wierd videos 6
» Funny news
Funny news 31635
News funnies 23
» Free Games
Games gallery
Action games 844
Cartoons 62
Casino games 39
Classic arcade 254
Fighting games 81
Free games 1799
Logic games 170
Photo puzzles 593
Racing games 201
RPG games 45
Shooting games 452
Sport games 333
Strategy games 196
» Funny jokes
Adult jokes 1626
Animal jokes 289
Bar jokes 620
Blonde jokes 1361
Bumper stickers 40
Computer jokes 430
Dirty jokes 239
Ethnic jokes 319
Funny Facts 1490
Gay jokes 117
Gender jokes 69
Holiday jokes 168
Humor jokes 819
Insults 4294
Insults jokes 114
Jokers 160
Lawyer jokes 530
Medical jokes 297
One liners 704
Police jokes 6
Politics jokes 304
Redneck jokes 473
Religious jokes 625
Work jokes 75
Yo mama jokes 127
» Humor stories
Funny poems 15
Funny stories 343
Humor Stories
» Sounds
Funny audio 338
Sound boards 80
Funny sitesFunny sites
Uber Humor

  Jokes > Computer jokes : Web addiction

Web addiction

Computer jokes Rating : 3.85, 7 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

Rules for surviving Web addiction =================================
1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3. I will get dressed before noon.
4. I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.
5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.
6. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.
7. I will read a book...think I still remember how.
8. I will listen to those around me and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.
9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for e-mail.
10. I will try leave the house at least once a week, whether it is necessary or not.
11. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my chequebook because I was too busy on the Web.
12. I will remember I must go to bed sometime...the Web will always be there tomorrow!
My comments about the above rules, and how they'll never work for me. =====================================================================
1. Drinking coffee ?! Yeeuuurrkk !! I hate coffee ! And reading the newspaper.. no way.. what a waste of a tree ! i can get the same information via the web.
2. Who has time for breakfast these days ?? If i have time for breakfast, then i have time to sleep-in just a few minutes longer! -
3. I don't even get up before noon!. - Some days i don't go to bed either!
4. Cleaning the house ? - That's womans work !.. That's why i get my brother to do it !.. He acts like an old woman sometimes. - Washing my clothes ? - Hell.. I only put these things on four days ago... there's at least another weeks wear i can get out of them before i think about washing them. Planning dinner? For me that is remembering where i put the Dial-a-kebab leaflet...
5. I can't write properly, my joined up writing is illegible, even i have trouble reading it sometimes. As for having friends who don't own a computer.. well.. last time i saw them was the day before i left college... In the late 1980's !
6. As i said in reply (5), i don't know anyone who doesn't have access the the Web, Why would i want to contact someone who is technically challenged anyway?
7. Ok.. I do still read books, but that is only during my lunch break, as they don't let staff use the works computers for surfing the web during the lunch time break, and calling the web via my laptop and my mobile phone costs an arm and a leg.
8. Hell.. I don't have that problem... I have my own special sound-proofed room as my computer room, where i can cut-out all external noise coming from the rest of my house.
9. I more likely to be tempted to go and check what's on the TV, while i wait for my e-mail to download.
10. Leave the house ? - Don't you know all web addicts are really Agoraphobic, which is how they got to be a web addict in the first place !
11. That one is no problem, with all this modern up-to-date internet banking, i can balance my chequebook while i am on the web.
12. Bed.. what is that then ?? - Does crashing out on the sofa count ?

Rate this joke (settings)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Rating : 3.85, 7 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

Previous joke [ Computer jokes index ] Next joke
Previous joke [ jokes index ] Next joke

More : Popular jokes | Most reviewed jokes | Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke : Reviews : 0, Rating : 3.85, 7 votes.

Post your review!

Name  :
Email   :
Rate    :
Text    : URLs cannot be posted here
Cool sites

Random jokes
What`s the difference between the government and the Mafia? One of them is organized... Read this joke...
The first product that the toy company Mattel came out with was picture frames... Read this joke...

Random joke
You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent... Read this joke...
I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college... Read this joke...

Friend Finder

Random Funny stuff

Believe me, I don`t want to make a monkey out of you... Read this joke...

Random pics
Funny pictures : Kerry Plays Football archive
Use parental controls to protect your kids : Wikipedia | Battle.