|
|
|
Evolution of mom
Holiday jokes
Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
The Evolution of Mom
Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:
Your Clothes -
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.
The Baby`s Name -
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!
Preparing for the Birth -
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don`t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn`t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
The Layette -
1st baby: You prewash your newborn`s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby`s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can`t they?
Worries -
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Activities -
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out -
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home -
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn`t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
Previous joke
[ Holiday jokes index ]
Next joke
Previous joke
[ jokes index ]
Next joke
More :
Popular jokes |
Most reviewed jokes |
Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke :
Reviews : 0, Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Post your review!
| |
|
|
|
Random jokes |
A lady walks into her doctor`s office, screaming... Read this joke...
Yo momma armpits so hairy looks like she got Buckwheat in a headlock!... Read this joke...
|
|
Random joke |
your momma is so fat that when she was in Asia, a car in New York swerved to stop from hitting her... Read this joke...
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons... Read this joke...
|
|
Random Funny stuff
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles... Read this joke...
Random pics
|
|
Funny stuff