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  Jokes > Holiday jokes : Twas the month after chanukah...-1

Twas the month after chanukah...-1

Holiday jokes Rating : 5.14, 27 votes. Reviews : 53 [add review]

`Twas the Month after Chanukah
Twas the month after Chanukah, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I`d nibble, the latkas I`d taste
At Chanukah parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I`d remember the marvelous meals I`d prepared
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine or the egg creams, the bread and the cheese
and the way I`d never said, ``No thank you, please.``
As I dressed myself in my husband`s old shirt
and prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as only I can
``You can`t spend the winter disguised as a man!``
So... away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of all chocolate, each cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
``Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won`t have a cookie--not even a lick.
I`ll want to chew only a long celery stick.
I won`t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I`ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I`m hungry, I`m lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn`t that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

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Rating : 5.14, 27 votes. Reviews : 53 [add review]

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