Jokes Humor stories Pictures Videos Funny News Games

Home  |  Bookmark us  |  Submit / Upload  |   |  Random stuff  |  RSS feed  |  Funny sites(add)  |  About  |  Terms  |  Privacy  |  Contact us
Funny stuff
» Funny pictures
Funny pics gallery
Forum pics 130
Funny pics mix 6
Funny pictures 2714
Optical illusions 37
» Funny videos
Funny clips gallery
Banned videos 53
Extreme videos 203
Funny animals 101
Funny cartoons 85
Funny cats 74
Funny dogs 85
Funny videos 8996
Home made videos 33
Music videos 69
Parodies 28
Pranks 156
Sexy videos 89
Sport videos 175
Stupid videos 160
Wierd videos 6
» Funny news
Funny news 31635
News funnies 23
» Free Games
Games gallery
Action games 844
Cartoons 62
Casino games 39
Classic arcade 254
Fighting games 81
Free games 1799
Logic games 170
Photo puzzles 593
Racing games 201
RPG games 45
Shooting games 452
Sport games 333
Strategy games 196
» Funny jokes
Adult jokes 1626
Animal jokes 289
Bar jokes 620
Blonde jokes 1361
Bumper stickers 40
Computer jokes 430
Dirty jokes 239
Ethnic jokes 319
Funny Facts 1490
Gay jokes 117
Gender jokes 69
Holiday jokes 168
Humor jokes 819
Insults 4294
Insults jokes 114
Jokers 160
Lawyer jokes 530
Medical jokes 297
One liners 704
Police jokes 6
Politics jokes 304
Redneck jokes 473
Religious jokes 625
Work jokes 75
Yo mama jokes 127
» Humor stories
Funny poems 15
Funny stories 343
Humor Stories
» Sounds
Funny audio 338
Sound boards 80
Funny sitesFunny sites
Uber Humor

  Jokes > Humor jokes : The soccer hero

The soccer hero

Humor jokes Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he hears a woman screaming and detects a faint smell of burning in the air. He runs down the street and around a corner and sees a huge group of people standing watching a blazing building. On the tenth floor of the building a woman, clutching a bundle to here chest, is leaning out of a window screaming for someone to save Her baby.
The man steps forward and calls up to the woman, "Throw down your baby and I`ll catch it!"
"No! No!" the woman shouts back. "You might miss or drop my baby and the she`ll be killed!"
"No I won`t!" shouts the man. "I am Alec Maguire. I`m the goal keeper for Ireland`s national football [soccer] team. I`ve never missed a match in ten years and in all that time, I have never let the ball into my net."
"What? Not once?" calls the woman.
"No!" shouts back the man. "Not once. Every football player in the world agrees that I am the best goal keeper there has ever been."
And with that he adopts the classic goal keepers stance, legs apart and
sightly bent at the knees, body slightly bent forward at the waist and with His arms stretched downwards at a slight angle away from His body, with palms facing forward.
"Okay!" screams the woman. "I`ll trust you. I`ve no choice! Her she comes!"
So, with the flames roaring all around her, the woman throws the baby from the window. However, the edge of the baby`s shawl catches on the woman`s watch with the result that the child goes spinning off to one side, tumbling head over heels and with Her little arms and legs flailing. The woman screams and the crowd gasps, all sure that the baby will perish because she will fall out of reach of the man.
The man remains motionless as the child descends, spinning and tumbling
further and further away from him as she comes. Then when the baby is only feet from hitting the ground the man dives a full 30 feet across the pavement, catches the baby in His outstretched right hand, pulls Her in towards His chest and shields Her body with His left hand and arm. He hits the ground heavily on His right side and lies motionless on the pavement for a few seconds. Then, slowly, he raises himself to His feet and turns to face the crowd and everyone sees that the child is alive. The crowd is awe-struck
Then the crowd erupts with cheers and the woman, still in danger herself, nearly faints with relief. The man, still clutching the child to His chest in His right arm, waves to the crowd of onlookers to acknowledge their appreciation. Then, slowly and gracefully, he turns away from them, bounces the baby twice on the ground then punts Her 60 yards down the road.

Rate this joke (settings)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

Previous joke [ Humor jokes index ] Next joke
Previous joke [ jokes index ] Next joke

More : Popular jokes | Most reviewed jokes | Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke : Reviews : 0, Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.

Post your review!

Name  :
Email   :
Rate    :
Text    : URLs cannot be posted here
Cool sites

Random jokes
I`d love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can`t count that high... Read this joke...
A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off - it dies from starvation!... Read this joke...

Random joke
A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots... Read this joke...
It`s your life -- but I wish you`d let us have it... Read this joke...

Friend Finder

Random Funny stuff

A farmer rears 25 young hens and one old cock... Read this joke...

Random pics
Funny pictures : Remain silent archive
Use parental controls to protect your kids : Wikipedia | Battle.