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Uber Humor


  Jokes > Jokers : Real funny headlines

Real funny headlines


Jokers Rating : 5.32, 23 votes. Reviews : 22 [add review]

Real Funny Headlines

 
Crack Found on Governor`s Daughter
[imagine that!]

 
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]

 
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that`s taking things a bit far!]

 
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]

 
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]

 
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[no-good-for-nothin` lazy so-and-sos!]

 
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

 
War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

 
If Strike Isn`t Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
[you think?!]

 
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]

 
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide    
[they may be on to something!]

 
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges  
[you mean there`s something stronger than duct tape?!]

 
Man Struck By Lightning:  Faces Battery Charge  
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

 
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren`t they fat enough?!]

 
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft    
[That`s what he gets for eating those beans!]

 
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks    
 [Taste like chicken?]

 
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 
 [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

 
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors    
 [Boy, are they tall!] 

 
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Now there`s a tragedy!

 
 

 
 Moving right along...

 
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER...
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

 
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

 
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

 
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

 
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

 
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

 
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

 
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

 
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN`T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.

 
Notice in a farmer`s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

 
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN`T WORK




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Rating : 5.32, 23 votes. Reviews : 22 [add review]

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