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Redneck quickies 38
Redneck jokes
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You might be a redneck if...
You think "Country & Western" covers both types of music.
You`ve ever used a hangnail as a tooth pick.
You can chew your own toenails.
You`ve ever used an inner-tube patch on your jeans.
You want the opening day of deer hunting season to be declared a national holiday.
Someone knocks on your front door and your back door rattles.
You let goldenrod grow in your yard because it looks so pretty.
You`ve ever absent-mindedly nibbled on your live bait. .. and didn`t spit it out.
Your best Sunday clothes include your John Deere baseball cap.
You go to a wedding or any formal party and ask someone to pull your finger.
Your friend tells you he went online last night, and you think he took a drunk driving test.
Your mama has more tattoos than you do.
You think the ATM machine is a giant, public calculator.
Your favorite cologne smells like exhaust.
You think its okay to have your 6 year old babysit your 5, 4, and 3 year old.
Your dog`s shots are up to date but your children`s aren`t.
You use the water in your toilet to bob for apples.
Your whole family sleeps in the same bed.
You consider your annual bath one too many.
You wore a baseball cap to the opera.
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