Girl friend 1.0
Computer jokes
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Subject: -What software version are you running?
I`m currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I`ve been
having some problems lately. I`ve been running the same version of
Drinking Buddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the
GirlFriend releases I`ve tried have always conflicted with it.
I hear that Drinking Buddies won`t crash if GirlFriend is run in
background mode and the sound is turned off. But I`m
embarrassed to say I can`t find the switch to turn the sound off.
I just run them separately, and it works okay.
Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Golf
program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing
incompatibility.
I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I
might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of
conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had
experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn`t have enough
cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a Token
Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my
cache, it uninstalled itself.
Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs
were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave
me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and
shut down for a while.
I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a
SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It
worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was
still in my system.
I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still
installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn`t know about
that automatically senses the presence of any other version of
GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way, which results
in the immediate removal of both versions.
The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some
problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some
obscure language I can`t understand, much less reprogram.
Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather
than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections
with your hardware, you usually have to use gold plated contacts.
And I`ve never liked how GirlFriend is totally "object oriented."
A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to
Girlfriend Plus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident
version of GirlFriend. He discovered that Girlfriend Plus 1.0 expires
within a year if you don`t upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but soon
after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a huge
resource hog. It has taken up all his space, so he can`t load anything else.
One of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was
because it came bundled with FreeSexPlus.
Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0
sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new
Plug Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be
running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. Although
he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw which has an
automatic pop-up feature he can`t turn off.
I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if
you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0
will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then
Mistress1.0 won`t install anyway because of insufficient resources.
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