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  Jokes > Gender jokes : How men can make women happy - the point system

How men can make women happy - the point system


Gender jokes Rating : 7.86, 14 votes. Reviews : 4 [add review]

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don`t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that`s the way the game is played.
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed: +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows: 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets: -1
You leave the toilet seat up: -5
You replaced the toilet paper roll when it is empty: 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex: -1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom: -2
You go out and by her extra-light pantyliners with wings: +5
In the snow: +8
But return with beer: -5
You check out a suspecious noise at night: 0
It turns out to be nothing: 0
It turns out to be something: +5
You pummel it with a six iron: +10
It is her pet dog/cat: -10
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS AT A PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party: 0
You stay for a while, then go and chat with a college buddy: -2
Named Tiffany: -4
Tiffany is a dancer: -6
Tiffany has implants: -8
ON HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner: 0
You take her out to dinner and it`s not a sports bar: +1
Okay, it is a sports bar: -2
And it`s all-you-can-eat night: -3
And your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
You go with a gal pal: -5
The pal is happily married: -4
Or frighteningly single: -7
And she drives a Mustang: -10
With a personalized license plate that reads GR8 N BED: -15
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie: +2
You take her to a movie she likes: +4
You take her to a movie you hate: +6
You take her to a movie you like: -2
It`s called Death Cop 9: -3
Which features cyborgs that eat humans: -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans: -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a potbelly and exercise to get rid of it: +10
You develop a potbelly and resort to loose jeans and shirts: -30
You say, "It doesn`t matter, you have one too": -800
COMMUNICATION - WHEN SHE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT A PROBLEM
You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression: 0
You listen for over 30 minutes: +5
Without looking at the TV once: +100
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep: -20
THE BIG QUESTION -- SHE ASKS YOU "DO I LOOK FAT?"
You hesitate in responding: -10
You reply, "Where?": -35
Any other response: -20



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Rating : 7.86, 14 votes. Reviews : 4 [add review]

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