|
|
|
Musical terms misunderstood by country-western musicians
Redneck jokes
Rating : 6.67, 6 votes.
Reviews : 4 [add review]
Diminished Fifth -- An empty bottle of Jack Daniels
Perfect Fifth -- A full bottle of Jack Daniels
Ritard -- There`s one in every family
Relative Major -- An uncle in the Marine Corps
Relative Minor -- A girlfriend
Big Band -- When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo
players
Pianissimo -- "Refill this beer bottle"
Repeat -- What you do until they just expel you
Treble -- Women ain`t nothin` but
Bass -- The things you run around in softball
Portamento -- A foreign country you`ve always wanted to see
Conductor -- The man who punches your ticket to
Birmingham
Arpeggio -- "Ain`t he that storybook kid with the big nose
that grows?"
Tempo -- Good choice for a used car
A 440 -- The highway that runs around Nashville
Transpositions -- Men who wear dresses
Cut Time-- Parole Order of
Sharps -- What a wimp gets at the bar
Passing Tone-- Frequently heard near the baked beans at
family barbecues
Middle C-- The only fruit drink you can afford when food
stamps are low
Perfect Pitch -- The smooth coating on a freshly paved road
Tuba -- A compound word: "Hey, woman! Fetch me another tuba
Bryll Cream!"
Cadenza -- That ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair
off of when company comes
Whole Note -- What`s due after failing to pay the
mortgage for a year
Clef -- What you try never to fall off of
Bass Clef -- Where you wind up if you do fall off
Altos -- Not to be confused with "Tom`s toes," "Bubba`s
toes" or "Dori-toes"
Minor Third-- Your approximate age and grade at the
completion of formal schooling
Melodic Minor -- Loretta Lynn`s singing dad
12-Tone Scale --The thing the State Police weigh your
tractor trailer truck with
Quarter Tone -- What most standard pickups can haul
Sonata -- What you get from a bad cold or hay fever
Clarinet -- Name used on your second daughter if you`ve
already used Betty Jo
Cello -- The proper way to answer the phone
Bassoon -- Typical response when asked what you hope to
catch, and when
French Horn -- Your wife says you smell like a cheap one
when you come in at 4 a.m.
Cymbal -- What they use on deer-crossing signs so you know
what to sight-in your pistol with
Bossa Nova -- The car your foreman drives
Time Signature -- What you need from your boss if you forget
to clock in
First Inversion --Grandpa`s battle group at Normandy
Staccato -- How you did all the ceilings in your mobile
home
Major Scale -- What you say after chasing wild game up a
mountain: "Darn! That was a major scale!"
Aeolian Mode-- How you like Mama`s cherry pie
Bach Chorale -- The place behind the barn where you keep the
horses
Rating : 6.67, 6 votes.
Reviews : 4 [add review]
Previous joke
[ Redneck jokes index ]
Next joke
Previous joke
[ jokes index ]
Next joke
More :
Popular jokes |
Most reviewed jokes |
Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke :
Reviews : 4, Rating : 6.67, 6 votes.
Post your review!
| |
|
|
|
Random jokes |
John went to the doctor one day... Read this joke...
How did the blonde explain how her helicopter crashed? She said it was getting cold, so she turned off the ceiling fan... Read this joke...
|
|
Random joke |
I know you are nobody`s fool, but maybe someone will adopt you... Read this joke...
Two blondes walk in to a bar one blonde ducks becase she saw a pole ... Read this joke...
|
|
Random Funny stuff
The U.S. motto, `In God We Trust`, was not adopted as the national slogan until 1956.... Read this joke...
Random pics
|
|
Funny stuff