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| If the pen is mightier than the sword, in a duel I`ll let you have the pen!What do batteries run on?Are there any questions?I was cleaning out my closet and I found a swim suit that I had made out of sponges... |
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| The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree... |
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| I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... |
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| I saw a sign at a gas station... |
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| I wrote a few children`s books... |
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| All the plants in my house are dead--I shot them last night... |
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| Even snakes are afraid of snakes... |
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| I planted some bird seed... |
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| My friend Sam has one leg... |
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| I wear my heart on my sleeve... |
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| I saw a want ad. Light housekeeping. They said, "Here, change this bulb". I said, "I`ll need some... |
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| Droughts are because God didn`t pay his water bill... |
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| I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.I took a course in speed reading. Then I... |
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| The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather... |
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| Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant... |
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| Horses just naturally have Mohawk haircuts... |
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| You can always get a job in international affairs because 90% of everything happens in a foreign country... |
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| The museum boasted owning the original version of Beethoven`s unfinished basement... |
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| I`m in Champaign, I listen to the great music on Rock 107, and when out of town ... |
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| My uncle`s an airline pilot ... |
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